_______How Can I Say I Never Knew You?______

Saturday, July 7, 2007

[[MySelf]]

Been thinkin about alot recently.. feelin depress..lonely.. mayb cuz of seeing ppl around me all in pairs.. i wish them well..wish them luck. but cant help feelin lonely.. wat do i wan exactly?? i dun knoe..totally no clue.. i wouldnt ask stupid qns lyk who can help me.. cuz i knoe onli i myself can help me.. y m i livin so miserable.. y do i have such negative feelin when im leadin such a gd life tat ppl envy.. cuz most of my besties have their own things to b busy about.. be it relationship, attachment, projects or school.. i dun knoe wat i can do.. enjoyin life throughout?? i knoe i cant do tat.. poly is gettin more n more stress.. but me?? im livin out of the stress level.. lyk it wasnt my business.. when did i bcome someone lyk tat.. its reali time tat i nid to reflect on myself, my behaviour and my attitude towards my life.. ITS LOOKIN LYK A MESS!!!!!!!! TOTALLY MESS UP LIFESTYLE!!!!!!! i hated myself.. i reali do.. some times i dun even understand y do i even exist.. tis fast movin society doesnt suits me.. if life is juz bout stressin up for money, for qualifications, for schools.. den i feel tat its reali meaningless.. some ppl may love studyin.. but its note piece of cake for me.. some ppl dun hafta study oso cant get reali gd results.. but its not me.. y?? y does some ppl suffer e moment they're born?? y does some ppl enjoy life till e day they're out into the society? y some ppl can depends on their family for all the supports?? y some ppl cant even get a little encouragement frm their family?? im workin so hard so tat i wouldnt b a burden for them.. since young..i've been train to be independent.. been train to do my own things myself.. and i adapted veri well.. they doesnt even hafta worry for me.. so eventually.. no one cares.. no one cares whether i would study for my exams anot..cuz they knoe i would.. no one cares whether i did my hmwk anot..cuz they knoe i would.. when i stays at home..they nv say anything.. when i went out..they would voice tat i went out everyday.. WATS THIS?? did they ever appreciate wat im tryin to do?? since sec3..i've stop takin allowance.. depends solely on my own earnin.. studyin n workin isnt easy.. its damn tedious.. but did they care whether im tired anot?? sometimes cuz of exams period didnt work much n had to request for allowance and they would nag.. tis makes me reali sick.. if u cant or dun wanto support me.. den y on earth did u give birth to me.. i dun knoe.. there's alot of whys in my mind.. but no one can give me e answers.. ImLostInMyOwnWorld [Drowning] P.S. i juz nid a hand..

Labels: random

Can't Say I Never Knew You|7/07/2007 11:06:00 PM|

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